Threesomes: Loving being a unicorn

When she initially requested myself easily’d be interested in playing with their and her heterosexual cis-male spouse, I becamen’t in search of a three-way. I needed to understand more about intercourse with femme-presenting women.

We saw lovers just who looked for thirds just how many others perform, as shady and just interested in their very own benefits – once the dreaded unicorn hunters.

But her message was nice, and I also thought, ‘you will want to?’

I got no experience with threesomes with bi-curious couples. I got only appear per year previous as a bisexual and polyamorous lady after covering for quite some time, and jumping from a single monogamous directly link to the next.

Becoming bisexual brought the typical tags to be ‘dirty’ for enjoying people sexually.

Becoming polyamorous and doing everyday intercourse meant I happened to be as well promiscuous, maybe not psychologically loyal sufficient, and branded a cheater before we even came across for a coffee.

Becoming plus-size with a human anatomy image/eating condition just enhanced the emotions of inadequacy and shame for just who i will be.

When she messaged me, advising me she thought I happened to be breathtaking, and asking us to meet this lady along with her lover for a glass or two and discover how we felt, I took the possibility.

Two mouths rather than one, four fingers as opposed to two worshipped my human body, and that I them. And for the first time in a really long-time, we believed desired, attractive, and desired. And especially, we decided I could at long last end up being me personally.

U

nicorn looking
is
a term that describes
partners, normally cisgender, bi-curious types, on the lookout for a 3rd to join all of them for intimate play. This
next
, appropriately known as the
‘unicorn’
for your perceived rareness of the existence, is if at all possible a cisgender, slender, femme-presenting bisexual or bi-curious girl, one who is unmarried, delighted for No Strings Attached (NSA) arrangements, and additionally be sexually special making use of few.

I’m not a true unicorn when I’m perhaps not unmarried, sexually special, nor slim.

My personal primary companion phone calls myself a rainicorn as an alternative. I find the definition of endearing as rainicorns (determined by

Adventure Time

) are offered in all sorts of colours, forms, and characters. We thrive on getting a third for lovers, bringing their sexual fantasies alive without additional strings of a difficult connection. We simply take great enjoyment in starting to be the object both desire.

Intimacy, for me, are but a delightful time, a brief nights passion without any further expectations.

Anti-unicorn looking has continued to develop from a necessity to highlight the harms that lots of bisexual cisgender and femme-presenting ladies experience when they’re hunted by lovers for prospective three-ways. It often encourages throuple and triad scenarios in the place of one-off sexual experiences to ensure the liberties of most involved.

And I get it. Bisexual ladies are usually coated as promiscuous, sexual items, intimately fresh, hyper-sexual, and thought to-be upwards for almost any and all of sex, such as three-ways. A lot of have-been maltreated through this practice of searching, which is not discounted.

The thing is however, Im almost all of those actions. Being a unicorn happens to be the one and only devote which these areas of my personal identity which can be consistently painted as myths about bisexual men and women are respected.

While the feminist philosopher Ann Cahill suggests, not to end up being intimately objectified, including when it comes to fat women, can be seen to be denied a sexuality and authorization to savor pleasure, one thing to which I have actually thought firmly in most of my entire life.

Taking on this identification provides allowed us to look for intimate fulfilment in an alternate group of techniques, and also to engage my hyper-sexuality, versus refute it.

Im sick and tired of individuals talking for me personally, let’s assume that Im always at risk of exploitation regarding pure assumption of my personal bisexuality and femme-presenting sex. That being hunted means I am usually prey. That i need to usually desire a-deep, intimate, and continuous union with a couple of instead anything relaxed.

W

hile we’re painted as ‘rare’, In my opinion there might be more ladies anything like me in concealing. All things considered, precisely why would I or any person wanna arrive onward publicly as a unicorn, when community forums and stuff like that paint unicorn hunters as ‘disgusting’ and just attempting to ‘spice right up their unique boring sex physical lives’?

In which does that keep those of us exactly who enjoy getting element of those dynamics as hunted?

When shaming these partners happens, we have been in addition shaming the unicorns who participate in these methods. We are creating the story by which bi-curious NSA three-ways tend to be considered as always inherently problematic experiences, and reinforcing the idea that ladies merely previously desire romantic link, that we cannot come to be thinking about merely gender.

We should instead start room and get mindful on the variety of sexual encounters. We would practice various intimate methods and engagements, and for some people bi-women, becoming promiscuous, ready to accept NSA three-ways, and hyper-sexual, is certainly not a negative thing.

Nor is it a naturally unfavorable representation of bisexuality a lot more generally. All things considered, it is far from the representation this is the problem, simple fact is that manner in which its weaponised.

Unfortunately, the anti-unicorn ‘community’ is doing a damn great work of pathologising me personally, and females like me, because we dare decide to accept facets of ourselves that are seen as a ‘problem’ by other people. Because we dare is ‘bad’ bisexuals.

I am a bisexual ‘rainicorn’.

And I don’t similar to getting hunted.

I fucking think it’s great.

Rainicorn works in study, focusing on bodies, sexuality and gender, sexual techniques, and health and well-being. She recognizes as a bisexual, cisgender, polyamorous plus-size Anglo-Celtic woman, and is also gender good, kink/fetish positive, and fat good. In her spare time, she likes painting and composing music, and delectable delights of the carnal underworld.

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